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Twelve Same Sex Marriage Fears Dispelled

The day for getting your Same-Sex marriage vote in is looming – 7th of November is the cut-off. Please, make sure you vote and please vote YES.

I know it’s a topic that gets people talking, and gets people fired up. It’s a topic that divides communities, and decides elections. For many people, the thought of two men or two women getting married creates feelings of revulsion, disgust, disdain, and anger. Plus, it contradicts their biblical ideals. Many believe same-sex marriage will erode the sanctity of marriage, and destroy the lives of any children that are exposed to it.

Let’s look at some of the concerns that people have about SSM, shall we?

1. Gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage and family.

This one always makes me scratch my head. Apparently, if two people of the same sex get married then the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman will be destroyed, along with their families. How is this possible? By all accounts, the incidence of divorce and infidelity seems to be the same regardless of sexual orientation. History has shown that there have been more high profile heterosexuals (many of them who even identify as Christians) who have destroyed the sanctity of marriage than homosexuals. I have listed a few of them below . . .

Tiger Woods, Donald Trump, Josh Duggar, Liz Taylor, Mel Gibson, Hugh Heffner, Jesse James, Ben Affleck, JFK, Harvey Weinstein

And the list goes on. It’s embarrassingly long. And yet way too many people insist that gay people getting married will damage the sanctity of marriage. Let’s blame them for families being torn apart due to divorce and infidelity and scandal. My own brother was married to a gorgeous girl and they had two beautiful kids together. Their marriage was never perfect, as he was a terribly flawed, manipulative, deceitful, and selfish person. And she had no idea (and neither did us three siblings or our parents or his friends). He left her, after years of deception and affairs and sordid activities, for another woman and her kids. He’s blissfully happy now that he has left his former family behind, but he has left 5 people (plus his extended family) shellshocked and devastated. Apparently, same-sex marriage was to blame.

What I’m trying to say is that, whether they’re gay or not, people can be selfish, or weak, or simply unhappy. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation. It has nothing to do with a man marrying a woman, or a person marrying someone of the same sex. It has more to do with values, respect, love, and responsibility. And some people are devoid of those things. They place more importance on how they feel, and not on how their loved ones feel. So they risk everything, or simply throw it away, in the pursuit of their (often selfish) happiness. Gay, straight, whatever! If you are a selfish person, it doesn’t matter which group you fit into.

2. What they do in the bedroom is repulsive!

Here’s a tip – what goes on in another person’s bedroom is no one else’s business. Personally, what some people ( whether gay or straight) get up to behind closed doors is not my cup of tea either, but then I’m not the one doing it so it doesn’t actually affect me. And it doesn’t affect you either.

3. Marriage is about religion.

No, it isn’t. Going to church is about religion. Loving thy neighbour is about religion. Marriage is a secular contract presided over by Government. Atheists get married. People of all different religious creeds get married. Some churches won’t marry inter-racial couples, or previously divorced couples. And that’s their right. However, that doesn’t preclude these people from marriage altogether because it’s secular.

4. Marriage is for creation of life.

Plenty of heterosexual couples get married, with no intention of having children. Way too many heterosexual couples marry and are unable to have children. Thousands of elderly couples, way past their childbearing age, as well as divorced couples with ready-made families, get married each year. So, should they either not get married or have their marriages annulled? If marriage is for the sole purpose of creating a life together, then why are those marriages that are entered into without the promise of children allowed?

5. The Australian Marriage Act states that a marriage is between a man & a woman.

Yes, it does, and that fact is not in dispute. However, the Marriage Act didn’t originally state that it was between a man and a woman. It was amended by John Howard. In 2004. It was a deliberate move to exclude same-sex couples and it didn’t take long to execute. Amending the Act to allow same-sex marriage would be simple and absolutely no impediment to the debate whatsoever.

6. They don’t need marriage when they have Civil Unions.

“Ahem. Let them eat cake? Those who adopt this argument can be the most frustrating as this is the one that glosses over the exact issue at stake here. This isn’t about every gay wanting to marry. This isn’t about the words themselves. It’s about what the options are and who has access to them. Apartheid South Africa had a water fountain for blacks and water fountains for whites. Essentially, nobody is missing out except that they’re both lapping at an entrenched division made possible by discrimination. Call it whatever you want. Call it Skiddlepop, if you must, but give it to everybody. If one doesn’t, then discrimination continues. Refusing to amend the Marriage Act is tantamount to saying The Gays are not worthy of the institution. And blacks aren’t worthy of the same drinking fountains, nor women the vote. Oh, history, it’s like an embarrassing echo.” quoted from Mama-Mia, 10th August 2017.

7. Homosexuality is a choice.

Only one group of people is capable of answering the question of choice and homosexuality, and they are homosexuals themselves. It is not a choice, they are born that way. I remember in year 4, there were two boys who were most definitely gay. We knew it, although I don’t think they did at the time. But I can say with absolute certainty that they didn’t choose to be that way, they just were. The implication that gay kids, a larger proportion of whom commit suicide because of horrendous bullying and identity issues, would actually choose to endure the torture of their childhoods is insulting. It’s insulting and no one has any authority to tell them they know better. Because unless you’re gay, you don’t.

8. Marriage between a man and a woman is traditional.

Here are some other traditional things: slavery, women not being allowed to vote or show their ankles, witch hunts, lynching, stoning, horses as a principal means of transport, sacrifices of children to the gods, shutting disabled kids in special homes, dragging women around by the hair, harems, shock-therapy, etc. Need I continue?

9. The legalisation of gay marriage will lead to our kids being taught about homosexuality and gender identity in primary school.

SSM and Safe Schools are two separate things. Whether SSM is approved or not, there will always be a LGBTI community, and so gender/sexuality issues will be, and should be, discussed in schools regardless. Way too many kids are committing suicide due to bullying because of their gender identity or sexual orientation. By making gender/sexuality issues a talking point amongst kids and young adults, we can increase awareness and acceptance and hopefully reduce the self-harm and suicide rates amongst our children. That, in itself, is a good thing. Isn’t it?

10. It doesn’t affect me, so I don’t care.

Do you have children? Do you have siblings? Do your friends have children? When you have a child you already have their lives somewhat mapped out in your head. Most parents think their child will be healthy and happy, will finish their education, find a job, meet someone, fall in love, get married, and have kids. But who are we, as parents, to say whether they will fall in love with someone of the opposite sex or the same sex? As parents, our wish should be that our children are healthy and happy, and that they find someone who treats them well and makes them even happier. I just want my kids to be happy, with whomever they choose. And I want them to have the same rights within their relationship that everyone else has.

11. Children are better off with a mother AND a father, and fare better than children from same-sex couples.

No. Children are better off with parents of any sex that love them, protect them, and encourage them to be the best version of themselves that they can be. There are way too many examples of children from “traditional” family units being abused and abandoned. Shitty people, regardless of sexual orientation, become shitty parents. The only reason so many kids from same-sex unions might actually struggle with having parents of the same sex is because society makes it hard for them. If people stopped hating on homosexuality and same-sex couples, then the children from these unions would not have any struggles with the lives their parents lead. If same-sex unions were both accepted and normalised, the bullying and intolerance of their children from others would almost cease. The only reason children supposedly “fare better with a mother AND a father” is because any other type of family setup is seen as wrong by others. Society’s attitude to homosexuality is to blame for kids supposedly not faring well in same-sex couples, not the fact they aren’t brought up by opposite-sex parents.

12. I will be forced to make a wedding cake for a gay couple.

This is a discrimination issue, not a SSM issue. The discrimination act prevents acts of discrimination against others due to race, religion, sexual orientation, and gender reasons. The issue of SSM is separate to this, and should not be confused as being the same.

At the end of the day, same-sex marriage only affects the gay community. It won’t have any effect on opposite-sex families. Whether SSM is legalised or not, there will STILL be gay couples living together and even having families. That will not cease. All that SSM will allow is for them to have the same rights (financial, next of kin, legal) as their heterosexual married friends and family. Nothing more, nothing less. If you aren’t gay, it won’t affect YOU. If you are gay, then life will become a little easier. No one loses if the YES vote wins. But if the NO vote is successful, then only the bigoted, the fearful, and the nasty win.

Because if you vote NO, that’s most likely what you are – either bigoted, fearful, or just plain nasty.

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